The Hordes of Hell Are Marching I, II, III
This is a panoramic dream and vision I received in early 1995. This is obviously allegorical, as are most dreams and visions. I have tried to be faithful to what I actually saw and experienced.
The Evil Army
I saw a demonic army so large that it stretched as far as I could see.
It was separated into divisions, with each carrying a
different banner. The foremost and most powerful divisions were Pride,
Self righteousness, Respectability, Selfish Ambition,
and Unrighteous Judgment, but the largest of all was Jealousy. The
leader of this vast army was the Accuser of the Brethren
himself. I knew that there were many more evil divisions beyond my
scope of vision, but these were the vanguard of this terrible horde from
hell that was now being released against the church.
The weapons carried buy this horde had names on them: the swords were
named Intimidation; the spears were named
Treachery; and their arrows were named Accusations, Gossip, Slander
and Faultfinding. Scouts and smaller companies of
demons with such names as Rejection, Bitterness, Impatience, Unforgiveness
and Lust were sent in advance of this army to
prepare for the main attack. I knew in my heart that the church had
never faced anything like this before.
The main assignment of this army was to cause division. It was sent
to attack every level of relationship-churches with each
other, congregations with their pastors, husbands and wives, children
and parents, and even children with each other. The
scouts were sent to locate the openings in churches, families or individuals
that rejection, bitterness, lust, etc., could exploit and
make a larger breech for the divisions that were coming.
The most shocking part of this vision was that this horde was not riding
on horses, but on Christians! Most of them were
welldressed, respectable, and had the appearance of being refined and
educated. These were Christians who had opened
themselves to the powers of darkness to such a degree that the enemy
could use them and they would think that they were
being used by God. The Accuser knows that a house divided cannot stand,
and this army represented his ultimate attempt to
bring such complete division to the church that she would completely
fall from grace.
The Prisoners
Trailing behind these first divisions were a vast multitude of other
Christians who were prisoners of this army. They were all
wounded, and were guarded by little demons of Fear. There seemed to
be more prisoners than there were demons in the army. Surprisingly, these
prisoners still had their swords and shields, but they did not use them.
It was shocking to see that so many
could be kept captive by so few of these little demons of Fear. These
could have easily been destroyed or driven off if the
prisoners had just used their weapons.
Above the prisoners the sky was black with vultures named Depression.
These would land on the shoulders of a prisoner and
vomit on him. The vomit was Condemnation. When the vomit hit a prisoner
he would stand up and march a little straighter for a while, and then slump
over, even weaker than before. Again, I wondered why the prisoners did
not simply kill these vultures
with their swords, which they could have easily done.
Occasionally a weak prisoner would stumble and fall. As soon as he or
she hit the ground, the other prisoners would begin
stabbing them with their swords, scorning them as they did so. They
would then call for the vultures to begin devouring the
fallen one even before they were dead.
As I watched, I realized that these prisoners thought that the vomit
of condemnation was truth from God. Then I understood
that these prisoners actually thought they were marching in the army
of God! This is why they did not kill the little demons of
fear, or the vultures-they thought these were messengers from God!
The darkness from the cloud of vultures made it so hard
for these prisoners to see that they naively accepted everything that
happened to them as being from the Lord.
The only food provided for these prisoners was the vomit from the vultures.
Those who refused to eat it simple weakened until
they fell. Those who did eat it were strengthened, but with the strength
of the evil one. They would then begin to vomit on the
others. When one began to do this a demon that was waiting for a ride
would be given this one and he or she would be
promoted to the front divisions.
Even worse than the vomit from the vultures was a repulsive slime that
these demons were urinating and defecating upon the
Christians they rode. This slime was the pride, selfish ambition, etc.,
that was the nature of the division they were a part of.
However, this slime made the Christians feel so much better than the
condemnation that they easily believed that the demons
were messengers of God, and they actually thought this slime was the
anointing of the Holy Spirit.
Then the voice of the Lord came to me saying, "This is the beginning
of the enemy's last day army. This is Satan's ultimate
deception, and his ultimate power of destruction is released when he
uses Christians to attack other Christians. Throughout the
ages he has used this army, but never has he been able to capture so
many to be used for his evil purposes. Do not fear. I have
an army too. You must now stand and fight, because there is no longer
any place to hide from this war. You must fight for My
Kingdom, for truth, and for those who have been deceived."
I had been so repulsed and outraged by the evil army that I had wanted
to die rather than live in such a world. However, this
word from the Lord was so encouraging that I immediately began yelling
to the Christian prisoners that they were being
deceived, thinking that they would listen to me. When I did this, it
seemed that the whole army turned to look at me, but I kept
yelling. I thought that the Christians were going to wake up and realize
what was happening to them, but instead many of them
started reaching for their arrows to shoot at me. The others just hesitated
as if they did not know what to make of me. I knew
then that I had done this prematurely, and that it had been a very
foolish mistake.
The Battle Begins
Then I turned and saw the army of the Lord standing behind me. There
were thousands of soldiers, but we were still greatly
outnumbered. Only a small number were fully dressed in their armor
so that most were only partially protected. A large number were already
wounded. Most of those who had all of their armor still had very small
shields which I knew would not protect
them from the onslaught that was coming. The majority of these soldiers
were women and children.
Behind this army there was a trailing mob similar to the prisoners who
followed the evil army, but very different in nature. These seemed to be
very happy people, and were playing games, singing songs, feasting and
roaming about from one little camp to
the next. It reminded me of the atmosphere at Woodstock. I tried to
raise my voice above the clamor to warn them that it was
not the time for this, that the battle was about to begin, but only
as few could even hear my voice. Those who did gave me the
"peace sign" and said they did not believe in war, and that the Lord
would not let anything bad happen to them. I tried to
explain that the Lord had given us armor for a reason, but they just
retorted that they had come to a place of peace and joy
where nothing would happen to them. I began praying earnestly for the
Lord to increase the faith (shields) of those with the
armor, to help us protect those who were not ready for the battle.
A messenger came up to me, gave me a trumpet and told me to blow it
quickly. I did, and those who had on at least some of
their armor immediately responded, snapping to attention. More armor
was brought to them, which they put on quickly. I
noticed that those who had wounds did not put armor over their wounds,
but before I could say anything about this enemy
arrows began raining down on us. Everyone who did not have on all of
his or her armor was wounded. Those who had not
covered their wounds were struck again in the same place.
Those who were hit by arrows of slander immediately began to slander
those who were not wounded. Those who were hit with gossip began to gossip,
and soon a major division had been created within our camp. Then vultures
swooped down to pick up
the wounded to deliver them into the camp of prisoners. The wounded
still had swords and could have smitten the vultures
easily, but they didn't. They were actually carried off willingly because
they were so angry at the rest of us.
The scene among those in the camp behind our army was even worse. There
seemed to be total chaos. Thousands lay on the
ground wounded and groaning. Many of those who were not wounded just
sat in a stupor of unbelief. The wounded and those
who sat in unbelief were being quickly carried away by the vultures.
Some were trying to help the wounded, and keep the
vultures off of them, but the wounded were so angry they would threaten
and drive away those who were trying to help them.
Many who were not wounded were simply running as fast as they could
from the scene of battle. This first encounter with the
enemy was so devastating that I was tempted to join them in their flight.
Then, very quickly, some of these began reappearing
with full suits of armor on, and large shields. The mirth of the party
had changed into an awesome resolve. They began to take
the places of those who had fallen, and even began forming new ranks
to protect the rear and flanks. These brought great
courage, and everyone resolved to stand and fight until death. Immediately
three great angels named Faith, Hope, and Love
came and stood behind us, and everyone's shield began to grow.
The High Way
We had swords named the Word of God, and arrows that were named for
biblical truths. We wanted to shoot back, but did
not know how to without hitting the Christians that were ridden by
the demons. Then it occurred to us that if these Christians
were hit with the truth they would wake up and fight off their oppressors.
I fired off a few arrows. Almost all of them hit
Christians. However, when the arrow of truth went into them, they did
not wake up, or fall down wounded-they became
enraged, and the demon riding on them grew much larger. This shocked
everyone, and we began to feel that this may be an
impossible battle to win, but with Faith, Hope and Love we were very
confident that we could at least hold our own ground.
Another angel named Wisdom then appeared and directed us to fight from
the mountain behind us.
On the mountain there were ledges at different levels for as high as
you could see. At each higher level the ledges became
narrower, and harder to stand on. Each level was named after a biblical
truth. The lower levels were named after foundational
truths such as "Salvation," "Sanctification," "Prayer," "Faith," etc.,
and the higher levels were named after more advanced
biblical truths. The higher we climbed, the larger both our shields
and our swords grew, and fewer of the enemy arrows could
reach that position.
A Tragic Mistake
Some who had stayed on the lower levels began picking up the enemy arrows
and shooting them back. This was a tragic
mistake. The demons easily dodged the arrows and let them hit the Christians.
When a Christian was hit by one of the arrows
of Accusation or Slander, a demon of Bitterness or Rage would fly in
and perch on that arrow. He would then begin to urinate
and defecate his poison upon that Christian. When a Christian had two
or three of these demons added to the Pride or Self
righteousness he already had, he began to change into the contorted
image of the demons themselves.
We could see this happening from the higher levels, but those on the
lower levels who were using the enemy's arrows could not
see it. Half of us decided to keep climbing, while the other half descended
back to the lower levels to explain to those still on
them what was happening. Everyone was then warned to keep climbing
and not stop, except for a few who stationed
themselves on each level to keep the other soldiers moving higher.
Safety
When we reached the level called "The Unity of the Brethren," none of
the enemy's arrows could reach us. Many in our camp
decided that was as far as they needed to climb. I understood this
because with each new level the footing was more
precarious. However, I also felt much stronger and more skillful with
my weapons the higher I went, so I continued climbing.
Soon my skills were good enough to shoot and hit the demons without
hitting the Christians. I felt that if I kept going higher I
could shoot far enough to hit the leaders of the evil horde who stayed
behind their army. I was sorry that so many had stopped
on the lower levels, where they were safe but could not hit the enemy.
Even so, the strength and character that grew in those
who kept climbing made them great champions, each of which I knew would
destroy many of the enemy.
At each level there were arrows of Truth scattered about which I knew
were left from those who had fallen from that position.
All of the arrows were named after the Truth of that level. Some were
reluctant to pick up these arrows, but I knew we needed all that we could
to destroy the great horde below. I picked one up, shot it, and so easily
hit a demon that the others started
picking them up and shooting them. We began to decimate several of
the enemy divisions. Because of this, the entire evil army
focused its attention on us. For a time it seemed the more we achieved
the more we were opposed. Though our task seemed
endless, it had become exhilarating.
The Word Is Our Anchor
Our swords grew as we reached each level. I almost left mine behind
because I did not seem to need it at the higher levels. I
finally decided that it had been given to me for purpose, so I had
better keep it. I drove it into the ground and tied myself to it
while I shot at the enemy. The voice of the Lord then came to me, saying:
"You have used the wisdom that will enable you to
keep climbing. Many have fallen because they did not use their sword
properly to anchor themselves." No one else seemed to
hear this voice, but many saw what I had done and did the same thing.
I wondered why the Lord had not spoken to me before I had made this
decision. I then had a sense of knowing that He had
already spoken this to me somehow. Then I perceived that my whole life
had been training for this four. I was prepared to the
degree that I had listened to the Lord and obeyed Him throughout my
life. I also knew that for some reason the wisdom and
understanding I now had could not be added to or taken away from while
in this battle. I became profoundly thankful for every
trial I had experienced in my life, and sorry for not appreciating
them more at the time.
Soon we were hitting the demons with almost perfect accuracy. Rage rose
from the enemy army like fire and brimstone. I knew that the Christians
trapped in that army were now feeling the brunt of that rage. Unable to
hit us they were now shooting at each other. With his arrows now ineffective
against us, the enemy sent the vultures to attack. Those who had not used
their swords
as anchors were able to strike down many of the vultures, but they
too were being knocked from the ledges where they were
standing. Some of these landed on a lower level, but some fell all
the way to the bottom and were picked up and carried off by
the vultures.
A New Weapon
The arrows of Truth would rarely penetrate the vultures, but they hurt
them enough to drive them back. Every time they were
driven back some of us would climb to the next level. When we reached
the level called "Galatians Two Twenty," we were
above the altitude that the vultures could fly. At this level the sky
above almost blinded us with its brightness and beauty. I felt
peace like I had never felt it before.
Previously much of my fighting spirit had really been motivated out
of as much hatred and disgust for the enemy as it had been
for the sake of the kingdom, truth, and love for the prisoners. But
it was on this level that I caught up to Faith, Hope, and Love, which before
I had only been following at a distance. On this level I was almost overpowered
by their glory. When I caught up
to them they turned to me, and began repairing and shining my armor.
Soon it was completely transformed and exuded the
glory that was in them. When they touched my sword, great bolts of
brilliant lightning began flashing from it. Love then said,
"Those who reach this level are entrusted with the powers of the age
to come, but I must teach you how to use them."
The "Galatians Two Twenty" level was so wide that there was no longer
any danger of falling. There were also unlimited arrows with the name Hope
written on them. We shot some of them down at the vultures, and these arrows
killed them easily. About
half who had reached this level kept shooting while the others began
carrying these arrows down to those still on the lower
levels.
The vultures kept coming in waves upon the levels below, but with each
one there would be fewer than before. From "Galatians Two Twenty" we could
hit any enemy in the army except the leaders themselves, who were still
out of range. We decided not
to use the arrows of Truth until we had destroyed all of the vultures,
because the cloud of depression they created made the
truth less effective. This took a very long time, but we never got
tired.
Faith, Hope and Love, who had grown like our weapons with each level,
were now so large that I knew people far beyond the battle area could see
them. Their glory even radiated into the camp of prisoners who were still
under a great cloud of vultures.
The exhilaration continued to grow in all of us. I felt that being
in this army, in this battle, had to be one of the greatest
adventures of all time.
After destroying most of the vultures that had been attacking our mountain,
we began picking off the vultures that had covered
the prisoners. As the cloud of darkness began dissipating and the sun
began to shine down on them, they began to wake up as
if they had been in a deep sleep. They were immediately repulsed by
their condition, especially by the vomit that still covered
them, and began cleaning themselves up. As they beheld Faith, Hope
and Love, they saw the mountain we were on and began
running for it. The evil horde rained arrows of Accusation and Slander
at them, but they did not stop. By the time they got to
the mountain many had a dozen or more arrows stuck in them, but seemed
not to even notice. As soon as they began to scale
the mountain their wounds began to heal. With the cloud of depression
being dispelled it seemed as if everything was getting
much easier.
The Trap
The former prisoners had great joy in their salvation. They seemed so
overwhelmed with appreciation for each level as they
began to scale the mountain that it gave us a greater appreciation
for those truths. Soon a fierce resolve to fight the enemy also
arose in the former prisoners. They put on the armor provided and begged
to be allowed to go back and attack the enemy. We thought about it, but
then decided we should all stay on the mountain to fight. Again the voice
of the Lord spoke, saying: "A
second time you have chosen wisdom. You cannot win if you try to fight
the enemy on his own ground, but must remain on My
Holy mountain."
I was stunned that we had made another decision of such importance by
just thinking and discussing it briefly. I then resolved to do my best
to not make another decision of any consequence without prayer. Wisdom
then stepped up to me quickly, took
both of my shoulders firmly and looked me intensely in the eyes, saying:
"You must do this!" I then noticed that, even though I
had been on the broad plateau of "Galatians Two Twenty," I had drifted
to the very edge without even knowing it, and could
have easily fallen. I looked again into the eyes of Wisdom, and he
said with the utmost seriousness, "Take heed when you think
you stand, lest you fall. In this life you can fall from any level."
The Serpents
For a long time we continued killing the vultures and picking off the
demons that were riding the Christians. We found that the
arrows of different Truths would have more of an impact on different
demons. We knew that it was going to be a long battle,
but we were not taking any more casualties now, and we had already
passed the level of "Patience." Even so, after these
Christians had the demons shot off them, few would come to the mountain.
Many had taken on the nature of the demons, and
continued in their delusion without them. As the darkness of the demons
dissipated we could see the ground moving around the
feet of these Christians. Then I saw that their legs were bound by
serpents called Shame.
We shot arrows of truth at the serpents, but they had little effect.
We then tried the arrows of Hope, but without result. From
"Galatians Two Twenty" it was very easy to go higher, so we started
up to the higher levels. Soon we happened upon a garden
that was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Over the entrance
to this garden was written, "The Father's Unconditional
Love." It was the most glorious and inviting doorway I had ever seen,
so we were compelled to enter. As soon as we did, we
saw the Tree of Life in the middle of this garden. It was still guarded
by angels of awesome strength. They looked as if they had been expecting
us, so we had the courage to pass them and walk up to the tree. One of
them said, "Those who make it to this
level, who know the Father's love, can eat."
I did not realize how hungry I was. When I tasted the fruit, it was
better than anything I had ever tasted, but was also somehow
familiar. It brought memories of sunshine, rain, beautiful fields,
the sun setting over the ocean, but even more than that, of the
people I loved. With every bite I loved everything and everyone more.
Then my enemies started to come to mind, and I loved
them, too. The feeling was soon greater than anything I had ever experienced,
even the peace on "Galatians Two Twenty."
Then I heard the voice of the Lord, and He said, "This is now your
daily bread. It shall never be withheld from you. You may
eat as much and as often as you like. There is no end of My love."
I looked up into the tree to see where the voice had come from, and
saw that it was filled with pure white eagles. They had the
most beautiful, penetrating eyes I have ever seen. They were looking
at me as if waiting for instructions. One of the angels said,
"They will do your bidding. These eagles eat snakes." I said, "Go!
Devour the shame that has bound our brothers." They
opened their wings and a great wind came that lifted them into the
air. These eagles filled the sky with a blinding glory. Even as
high as we were, I could hear the sounds of terror from the enemy camp
at the sight of these eagles coming toward them.
The Lord Jesus Himself then stood in our midst. He touched each one,
then said, "I must now share with you what I shared
with your brothers after My acsension-the message of My Kingdom. The
enemy's most powerful army has now been pout to
flight, but not destroyed. Now it is time for us to march forth with
the gospel of My kingdom. The eagles have been released
and will go with us. We will take arrows from every level, but I am
your Sword, and I cam your Captain. It is now time for the
Sword of the Lord to be unsheathed."
I then turned and saw that the entire army of the Lord was standing
in that garden. There were men women and children from
all races and nations, each carrying their banners that moved in the
wind with perfect unity. I knew that nothing like this had
been seen in the earth before. I knew that the enemy had many more
armies, and fortresses throughout the earth, but none
could stand before this great army. I said almost under my breath,
"This must be the day of the Lord." The whole host then
answered in an awesome thunder, "The day of the Lord of Hosts has come."
We stood in the Garden of God under the Tree of Life. It seemed that
the entire army was there, kneeling before the Lord
Jesus. He had just given us the charge to return to the battle for
the sake of our brothers who were still bound, and for the
world that He still loved. It was both a wonderful and a terrible command.
It was wonderful just because it came from Him. It
was terrible because it implied that we would have to leave His manifest
presence, and the Garden that was more beautiful than anything I had ever
seen before. To leave all of this to go into battle seemed incomprehensible.
The Lord continued His exhortation: "I have given you spiritual gifts
and power, and an increasing understanding of My word
and My kingdom, but the greatest weapon that you have been given is
the Father's love. As long as you walk in My Father's
love you will never fail. The fruit of this tree is the Father's love
which is manifested in Me. This love which is in Me must be
your daily bread."
The Lord was not what we might consider to be of a strikingly handsome
appearance, but was rather ordinary. Even so, the
grace with which He moved and spoke made Him the most attractive person
I had ever seen. He was beyond human definition
in dignity and nobility. No painting that has sought to capture what
He looked like could ever do it, but somehow most of them
do resemble Him. I began to think of how He was everything that the
Father loves and esteems. He truly is full of grace and
truth, to the point that it seemed that nothing but grace and truth
should ever matter.
When I ate the fruit from the Tree of Life, the thought of every good
thing I had ever known seemed to fill my soul. When Jesus spoke it was
the same, only magnified. I never wanted to leave this place. I remembered
how I had once thought it must have
been boring for those angels who did nothing but worship Him before
the throne. Now I knew that there was nothing more
wonderful or exhilarating than simply worshiping Him. That would surely
be the best part of heaven. It was hard to believe that
I had struggled so much with boredom during worship services. I knew
that it was only because I had been almost completely
out of touch with reality during those times.
Worship in Spirit and Truth
I was almost overwhelmed with the desire to go back and make up those
times during worship when I had allowed my mind to
wander, or had occupied myself with other things. The desire to express
my adoration for Him became almost uncontrollable. I
had to praise Him! As I opened my mouth I was shocked by the spontaneous
worship that erupted from the entire army at the
same time. I had almost forgotten that anyone else was there, but we
were all in perfect unity. The glorious worship could not
be expressed in human language.
As we worshiped, a golden glow began to emanate from the Lord, then
there was silver around the gold. Then colors, the
richness of which I have never seen with my natural eyes, enveloped
us all. With this glory I entered a realm of emotion that I
had never experienced before. Somehow I understood that his glory had
been there all along, but when we focused on Him the way that we did in
worship, we simply began to see more of His glory. The more intensely we
worshiped, the more glory we
beheld. If this was heaven, it was much, much better than I had ever
dreamed.
Finding His Dwelling Place
I have no idea how long this worship lasted. It could have been months,
There was simply no way to measure time in that kind
of glory. For a time I closed my eyes because the glory I was seeing
with my heart was as great as what I was seeing with my
physical eyes. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see that the
Lord was not there any longer, but a troop of angels was standing where
He had been. One of them stepped us to me and said, "Close your eyes again."
When I did, I beheld the glory
of the Lord again and was greatly relieved.
Then the angel explained, "What you see with the eyes of your heart
is more real than what you see with your physical eyes." I
had myself made this statement many times, but how little I had truly
walked in it! The angel continued, "It was for this reason
that the Lord told His first disciples that it was better for Him to
go away so that the Holy Spirit could come. The Lord dwells
within you. You have taught this many times, but now you must live
it, for you have eaten of the Tree of Life."
The angel then began to lead me back to the gate. I protested that I
did not want to leave. Looking surprised, the angel took
me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes. That is when I recognized
him as the angel, Wisdom. "You never have to leave
this garden. This garden is in your heart because the Creator Himself
is within you. You have desired the best part, to worship
and sit in His presence forever, and it will never be taken from you."
I acknowledged what Wisdom had said, and then looked past him at the
fruit on the Tree of Life. I had a compulsion to grab all that I could
before leaving. Knowing my thoughts, Wisdom gently shook me. "No. Even
this fruit, gathered in fear, would rot.
This fruit and this tree are within you because He is in you. You must
believe."
I closed my eyes and tried to see the Lord again but couldn't. When
I open my eyes Wisdom was still staring at me. With great
patience he continued, "You have tasted of the heavenly realm, and
no one ever wants to go back to the battle once they do.
No one every wants to leave the manifest presence of the Lord. When
the apostle Paul came here he struggled for the rest of
his life as to whether he should stay and labor for the Lord, or return
here to enter into his inheritance; but his inheritance was
magnified the longer he stayed. Now that you have the heart of a true
worshiper you will always want to be here, and you can
when you enter into true worship. The more focused you are on Him,
the more glory you will see, regardless of where you are."
Wisdom's words had finally calmed me. Again I closed my eyes just to
thank the Lord for this wonderful experience, and the
life He had given me. As I did, I started to see His glory again, and
all of the emotion of the previous worship experience
flooded my soul. The Lord's words to me were so loud and clear that
I was sure they were audible; "I will never leave or
forsake you."
"Lord, forgive my unbelief," I responded. "Please help me to never leave or forsake you."
Walking With Wisdom
As I opened my eyes, Wisdom was still gripping my shoulders. "I am the
primary gift that has been given to you for your work," he said, "I will
show you the way, and I will keep you on it, but only love will keep you
faithful. The highest wisdom is to love
the Lord."
Then Wisdom released me and started to walk toward the gate. I followed
with ambivalence. I remembered the exhilaration of
the battle and the climb up the mountain, and it was compelling, but
there was no comparison to the presence of the Lord and
the worship I had just experienced. Leaving this would be the greatest
sacrifice I had ever made. Then I remembered how it
was all inside of me, amazed that I could even forget that so quickly.
I began to think about the great battle that was raging
within me, between what I saw with my physical eyes and what I saw
with my heart.
I moved forward so that I was walking beside Wisdom, and asked, "I have
prayed for 26 years to be caught up into the third
heaven as Paul had. Is this the third heaven?"
"This is part of it," he replied, "but there is much more."
"Will I be allowed to see more?" I asked.
"You will see much more. I am taking you to see more now," he replied.
I started thinking of the Book of Revelation. "Was John's revelation part of the third heaven?" I asked.
"Part of John's revelation was from the third heaven, but most of it
was from the second heaven. The first heaven was before
the fall of man. The second heaven is the spiritual realm during the
reign of evil upon the earth. The third heaven is when the love and domain
of the Father will again prevail over the earth through your King."
"What was the first heaven like?" I inquired, strangely feeling a cold chill as I asked.
"It is wisdom not to be concerned about that now," my companion responded
with increased seriousness as my question
seemed to jolt him. "Wisdom is to seek to know the third heaven just
as you have. There is much more to know about the third
heaven than you can know in this life, and it is the third heaven,
the kingdom, that you much preach in this life. In the ages to
come you will be told about the first heaven, but it is not profitable
for you to know at this time."
I resolved to remember the cold chill I had just felt, and Wisdom nodded,
which I knew to be an affirmation to that thought.
"What a great companion you are, I had to say as I was just flooded
with appreciation for this angel. "You really will keep me
on the right path."
"I will indeed," he replied.
I was sure I felt love coming from this angel, which was unique, since
I had never felt this from other angels, which showed
more of a concern out of duty than love. Wisdom responded to my thoughts
as if I had spoken them out loud.
"It is wisdom to love and I could not be Wisdom if I did not love you.
It is also wisdom to behold the kindness and the severity
of God. It is wisdom to love Him and fear Him. You are in deception
to do otherwise. This is the next lesson that you must
learn." he said with unmistakable earnest.
"I do know that, and have taught it many times," I responded, feeling
for the first time that maybe Wisdom did not fully know
me.
"I have been your companion for a very long time, and I know your teachings,"
Wisdom replied. "Now you are about to learn
what some of your own teachings mean. As you have said many times,
'It is not by believing in your mind, but in your heart that
results in righteousness.'"
I apologized, feeling a bit ashamed at having even questioned Wisdom.
He graciously accepted my apology. It was then that I
realized I had been questioning and challenging him most of my life,
often to my injury.
The Other Half of Love
"There are times to adore the Lord," Wisdom continued, "and there are
times to honor Him with the greatest fear and respect.
Just as there is a time to plant, and a time to reap, and it is wisdom
to know the time for each. True wisdom knows the times
and seasons of God. I brought you here because it was time to worship
the Lord in the glory of His love. I am now taking you
to another place because it is time for you to worship Him in the fear
of His judgment. Until you know both we can be
separated from each other."
"Do you mean that if I had stayed back there in that glorious worship I would have lost you?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes. I would have always visited with you when I could, but we would
have rarely crossed paths. It is hard to leave such glory and peace, but
that is not the whole revelation of the King. He is both the Lion of Judah
and the Lamb. To the spiritual children
He is the Lamb. To the maturing He is the Lion. To the fully mature
He is both the Lion and the Lamb. You have known this in
your mind, and I have heard you teach it, but now you will know it
in your heart, for you are about to experience the judgment
seat of Christ.
The Return to the Battle
Before leaving the gates to the Garden I asked Wisdom if I could just
sit for a while to ponder all that I had just experienced.
"Yes, you should do this," he replied, "But I have a better place for
you to do it."
I followed Wisdom out of the gates and we began to descend down the
mountain. To my surprise the battle was still going on,
but not nearly as intensely as it was when we ascended. There were
still arrows of accusation and slander flying about on the
lower levels, but most of the enemy horde that was left was furiously
attacking the great white eagles. The eagles were easily
prevailing.
We kept descending until we were almost at the bottom. Just above the
levels of "Salvation" and "Sanctification" was the level
"Thanksgiving and Praise." I remembered this level very well because
one of the greatest attacks of the enemy came as I first
tried to reach it. Once we got here the rest of the climb was much
easier, and if an arrow got through your armor it healed much faster.
As soon as the enemy spotted me on this level (the enemy could not see
Wisdom), a shower of arrows began to rain down on
me. I so easily knocked them down with my shield that the enemy quit
shooting. Their arrows were now almost gone and they
could not afford to waste any more.
The soldiers who were still fighting from this level looked at me in
astonishment with a deference that made me very
uncomfortable. It was then that I first noticed that the glory of the
Lord was emanating from my armor and shield. I told them to climb to the
top of the mountain without stopping and they, too, would see the Lord.
As soon as they agreed to go they saw
Wisdom. They started fall down to worship Him, but he restrained them,
and sent them on their way.
The Faithful
I was filled with love for these soldiers, many of whom were women and
children. Their armor was a mess, and they were
covered in blood, but they had not quit. In fact. they were still cheerful
and encouraged. I told them that they were deserving of
more honor than I was, because they had borne the greatest burden of
the battle, and had held their ground. They seemed not
to believe me, but appreciated that I would say it. However, I really
felt that it was true.
Every level on the mountain had to be occupied or the vultures that
were left would come and foul it with vomit and excrement
until it was difficult to stand on. Most of the ledges were occupied
by soldiers which I recognized to be from different
denominations or movements which emphasized the truth of the level
they were defending. I was embarrassed by the attitude I
had maintained toward some of these groups. I had considered some of
them out of touch and backslidden at best, but here
they were fighting faithfully against a terrible onslaught of the enemy.
Their defense of these positions had probably enabled me
to keep climbing as I had.
Some of these levels were situated so that there was a view of a good
part of the mountain or battlefield, but some were so
isolated that the soldiers on them could only see their own position,
and seemed not to even know about the rest of the battle
raging. They were often so wounded from the slander and accusations
that they would be resistant when someone came down
to them from a higher level and encouraged them to climb higher. However,
when some began to come down from the top
reflecting the glory of the Lord, they listened with great joy, and
soon began to climb themselves with courage and resolve. As I beheld all
of this, Wisdom did not say much, but he seemed very interested in my reactions.
Reality Discovered
I watched as many soldiers who had been to the top began descending
to all of the levels to relieve those who had been taking
their stand on those truths. As they did, each level began to shine
with the glory they carried. Soon the whole mountain was
beginning to shine with a glory that was blinding to the vultures and
demons that were left. Soon there was so much glory that
the mountain began to have the same feel as the Garden.
I started thanking and praising the Lord and immediately I was in His
presence again. It was hard to contain the emotions and
glory that was flooding my innermost being. The experience became so
intense that I stopped. Wisdom was standing beside
me. Putting his hand on my shoulder he said, "You enter His gates with
thanksgiving, His courts with praise."
"But that was so real! I felt like I was there again," I exclaimed.
"You were there," replied Wisdom. "It has not gotten more real, but
you have. Just as the Lord told the thief on the cross,
'Today' you will be with Me in Paradise, you can enter Paradise at
anytime. The Lord, His Paradise, and this mountain, are all
abiding in you, because He is in you. What were but foretastes before
are now a reality to you because you have climbed the
mountain. The reason that you can see me and others cannot is not because
you have entered the one in which I dwell. This is
the reality that the prophets knew that gave them great boldness even
when they stood alone against armies."
The Deadly Trap
I then looked out over the carnage below, and the slowly retreating
demonic army. Behind me more of the glorious warriors
were constantly taking their places on the mountain. I knew there was
now enough to attack and destroy what was left of this
enemy horde. "Not yet," said Wisdom. "Look over there." I looked in
the direction in which he was pointing, but had to shield
my eyes from the glory emanating from my own armor to see anything.
Then I caught a glimpse of movement in a valley.
I could not make out what I was seeing, because the glory being emitted
from my armor made it difficult to see into the
darkness. I asked Wisdom to give me something to cover my armor with
so I could see it. He then gave me a very plain mantel to put on. "What
is this?" I inquired, a little insulted by its drabness. "Humility," said
Wisdom. "You will not be able to see very
well without it." Reluctantly I put it on and immediately I saw many
things that I could not see before. I looked toward the valley and the
movement I had seen. To my astonishment there was an entire division of
the enemy horde that was waiting to ambush
anyone who ventures from the mountain.
"What army it that?" I asked, "and how did they escape the battle intact?"
"That is Pride," explained Wisdom. "That in the hardest enemy to see
after you have been in the glory. Those who refuse to put
on this cloak will suffer much at the hands of this most devious enemy."
As I looked back at the mountain I saw many of the glorious warriors
crossing the plain to attack the remnants of the enemy
horde. None of them were wearing the cloaks of humility and they had
not seen the enemy that was ready to attack them from
their rear. I started to run out to stop them, but Wisdom restrained
me. "You cannot stop this," he said. "Only the soldiers who
wear this cloak will recognize your authority. Come with me. There
is something else that you must see before you can help
lead in the great battle that is to come."
The Foundation of Glory
Wisdom led me down the mountain to the very lowest level, which was
named "Salvation." "You think that this is the lowest
level," declared Wisdom, "but this is the foundation of the whole mountain.
In any journey, the first step is the most important,
and it is usually the most difficult. Without 'Salvation' there would
be no mountain."
I was appalled by the carnage on this level. Every soldier was very
badly wounded, but none of them were dead. Multitudes
were barely clinging to the edge. Many seemed ready to fall off at
any moment, but none did. Angels were everywhere
ministering to the soldiers with such great joy that I asked, "Why
are they so happy?"
"These angels have beheld the courage that it took for these to hold
on. They many not have gone any further, but neither did
they give up. They will soon be healed, and then they will behold the
glory of the rest of the mountain, and begin to climb. These will be great
warriors for the battle to come."
"But wouldn't they have been better off to climb the mountain with the rest of us?" I protested, seeing their present condition.
"It would have been better for them, but not for you. By staying here
they made it easier for you to climb by keeping most of
the enemy occupied. Very few from the higher levels ever reached out
to help others come to the mountain, but these did. Even when these were
barely clinging to the mountain themselves, they would reach out to pull
others up. In fact, most of the mighty
warriors were led to the mountain by these faithful ones. These are
no less heroes than those who made it to the top. They
brought great joy to heaven by continually leading other to 'Salvation.'
It was for this reason that all the angels in heaven wanted to come to
minister to them, but only the most honored were permitted."
Again I felt a terrible shame at my attitude toward these great saints.
Many of us scorned them as we climbed to the higher
levels. They had made many mistakes during the battle, but they had
also displayed more of the Shepherd's heart than the rest
of us. The Lord would leave the ninety-nine to go after the one who
was lost. These had stayed in the place where they could
still reach the lost, and they paid a dear price for it. I, too, wanted
to help but did not know where to start.
Wisdom then said, "It is right for you to want to help, but you will
help most by going on to what you have been called to do.
These will all be healed and will quickly climb the mountain. They
will join you again in the battle. These are fearless ones who
will never retreat before the enemy."
The Power of Pride
I was thinking how descending the mountain was teaching me as much as
climbing it had, when noise from the battlefield drew
my attention. By now there were thousands of the mighty warriors who
had crossed the plain to attack the remnant of the
enemy horde. The enemy was fleeing in all directions, except for the
one division, Pride. Completely undetected, it had
marched right up to the rear of the advancing warriors, and was about
to release a hail of arrows. It was then that I noticed the
mighty warriors had not armor on their backsides-they were totally
exposed and vulnerable to what was about to hit them.
Wisdom then remarked, "You have taught that there was no armor for the
backside, which meant that you were vulnerable if
you fan from the enemy. However, you never saw how it made you vulnerable
if you advanced in pride."
I could only nod my acknowledgment. It was too late to do anything,
and it was unbearable to watch, but Wisdom said that I
must. To my amazement, when the arrows of pride struck the warriors
they did not even notice. However, the enemy kept
shooting. The warriors were bleeding and getting weaker fast but would
not acknowledge it. Soon they were too weak to hold
up their shields and swords, and cast them down, declaring that they
did not need them anymore. Then they started taking off
their armor, saying it was not needed anymore either.
Then another enemy division appeared and moved up swiftly. It was called
Strong Delusion. They released a hail of arrows that all hit their mark.
I then watched as just a few of the demons of delusion led off this once
great army of glorious warriors. They
were taken to different prison camps, each named after a different
doctrine of demons. I was astounded at how this great
company of the righteous had been so utterly defeated, and they still
did not even know what had hit them. "How could those
who were so strong, who have been all the way to the top of the mountain,
who have seen the Lord as they have, be so
vulnerable?" I blurted out.
"Pride is the hardest enemy to see, and it always sneaks up behind you,"
Wisdom lamented. "In some ways, those who have
been to the greatest heights are in the greatest danger of falling.
You must always remember that in this life you can fall at any
time from any level. 'Take heed when you think you stand, lest you
fall,' When you think you are the least vulnerable to falling is
in fact when you are the most vulnerable. Most men fall right after
a great victory."
Wisdom for the Battle
"How can we keep from being attacked like this?" I asked.
"Stay close to me, inquire of the Lord before making any major decisions,
and keep that mantle on, and the enemy will never
be able to blindside you as he did those."
I looked at my mantle. It looked so plain and insignificant. I felt
that it made me look more like a homeless person than a
warrior. Wisdom responded as if I had been speaking out loud, "The
Lord is closer to the homeless than to princes. You only
have true strength to the degree that you walk in the grace of God,
and 'He gives His grace to the humble.' No enemy weapon
can penetrate this mantle, because nothing can overpower His grace.
As long as you wear this mantle you are safe from this
kind of attack."
I then started to look up to see how many warriors were still on the mountain. I was shocked to see how few there were. I then noticed that they all had on the same mantle on humility. "How did that happen?" I inquired.
"When they saw the battle you just witnessed, they all came to me for help, and I gave them their mantles," Wisdom replied.
"But I thought you were with me that whole time?"
"I am with all who go forth to do the will of the Father," Wisdom answered.
"You're the Lord!" I cried
"Yes," He answered. "I told you that I would never leave you or forsake
you. I am with all of My warriors just as I am with
you. I will be to you whatever you need to accomplish My will, and
you have needed wisdom." Then He vanished.
Rank in the Kingdom
I was left standing in the midst of the great company of angels who
were ministering to the wounded on the level of "Salvation."
As I began to walk past these angels, they bowed to one knee and showed
me the greatest respect. I finally asked one of them
why they did this, as even the smallest was much more powerful than
I was. "Because of the mantle," he replied. "That is the
highest rank in the kingdom."
"This is just a plain mantle," I protested.
"No!" the angel protested. "You are clothed in the grace of God. There is no greater power than that!"
"But there are thousands of us all wearing the same mantle. How could it represent rank?"
You are the dread champions, the sons and daughters of the King. He
wore the same mantle when He walked on this earth. As long as you are clothed
in that there is no power in heaven or earth that can stand before you.
Everyone in heaven and hell
recognizes that mantle. We are His servants, but He abides in you,
and you are clothed in His grace."
Somehow I knew if I had not been wearing the mantle, and if my glorious
armor had been exposed, that the angel's statement,
and their behavior toward me, could have really fed my pride. It was
simply impossible to feel prideful or arrogant while
wearing such a drab, plain, cloak. However, my confidence in the mantle
was growing fast.
The Return of the Eagles
Then on the horizon I saw a great white cloud approaching. Hope arose
in me just by seeing it. It actually filled the atmosphere
with hope just as the sun rising chases away the darkness of night.
As it grew closer I recognized the great white eagles that had flown from
the Tree of Life. They began landing on the mountain, taking their place
on every level beside the companies of
warriors.
I carefully and respectfully approached the eagle who had landed near
me because his presence was so awesome. when he
looked at me with his penetrating eyes, I knew I could hide nothing
from him. His eyes were so fierce and resolute that I
trembled as chills ran through me just looking at them. Before I could
even ask, he answered me.
"You want to know who we are. We are the hidden prophets who have been
kept for this hour. We are the eyes of those who
have been given the divinely powerful weapons. We have been shown all
that the Lord is doing, and all that the enemy is
planning against you. We have scoured the earth and together we know
all that needs to be known for the battle."
"Did you not see the battle that just took place?" I asked with as much
irritation as I dared to express. "Couldn't you have
helped those warriors that were just taken captive?"
"Yes. We saw it all, and we could have helped if they had wanted it.
But our help would have been to restrain them. We can
only fight in the battles that the Father commands, and we can only
help those who believe in us. Only those who receive us as
who we are, the prophets, can receive the prophet's reward, or the
benefit of our service. Those who were ambushed did not
yet have the mantle that you are wearing, and those who do not have
the mantle cannot understand who we are. We all need
each other, including these here who are still wounded, and many others
who you do not yet know."
The Heart of the Eagle
By talking to the eagle I started very quickly to think like the eagle.
After this short discussion I could see into the eagle's heart
and know him like he knew me. The eagle recognized this.
"You have some of our gifts," the eagle noted, "though they are not
very well developed. You have not used them much. I am
here to awaken these gifts in many of you, and to teach you to use
them. In this way our communication will be sure. It must be
sure or we will all suffer many unnecessary losses, not to mention
missing many great opportunities for victory."
"Where did you just come from?" I asked.
"We eat snakes," the eagle replied. "The enemy is bread for us. Our
sustenance comes from doing the Father's will, which is to
destroy the works of the devil. Every snake that we eat helps to increase
our vision. Every stronghold of the enemy that we tear down, strengthens
us so we can soar higher and stay in the air longer. We have just come
from a feast, devouring the serpents
of shame who have bound many of your brothers and sisters. They will
be here soon. They are coming with the eagles we left
behind to help them find the way, and to protect them from the enemy's
counterattacks."
These eagles were very sure of themselves, but not cocky. They knew
who they were, what they were called to do. They also
knew us and they knew the future. Their confidence was reassuring to
me, but even more so to the wounded that were still lying all around us.
Those who had recently been too weak to talk were actually sitting us listening
to my conversation with the eagle. They looked at him like a lost child
would look to his parent who had just found him.
The Wind of the Spirit
When the eagle looked upon the wounded his countenance changed as well.
In place of the fierce resolution I had stood
before, toward the wounded he was like a soft, compassionate old grandfather.
The eagle opened his wings and began to
gently flap them, stirring up a cool refreshing breeze that flowed
over the wounded. It was not like any other breeze I had ever
felt before. With each breath I felt I was gaining strength and clarity
of mind. Soon the wounded were standing and worshiping
God with a sincerity that brought tears to my eyes. Again I felt a
profound shame at having scorned those who stayed on this
level. They had seemed so weak and foolish to those of us who were
ascending the mountain, but they had endured much more than we had and
remained faithful. God had kept them and they loved Him with a great love.
I looked up at the mountain; all of the eagles were gently flapping
their wings. Everyone on the mountain was being refreshed by the breeze
they were stirring up, and everyone on the mountain was beginning to worship
the Lord. At first there was some
discord between the worship that was coming from the different levels,
but after a time everyone on every level was singing in
perfect harmony. Never on earth had I heard anything that beautiful.
I never wanted it to end. Soon I recognized it as the same
worship that we had known in the Garden, but now it sounded even more
full and rich. I knew that it was because we were
worshiping in the very presence of our enemies, in the midst of such
darkness and evil that surrounded the mountain, that it
seemed so much more beautiful.
I do not know whether this worship lasted hours, days, or minutes, but
eventually the eagles stopped flapping their wings and it
stopped. "Why did you stop?" I asked the eagle that I had been talking
to.
"Because they are now whole," he replied, indicating the wounded who
were now all standing and appeared to be in perfect
condition. "True worship can heal any wound," he added.
"Please do it again," I begged.
"We will do this many times, but it is not for us to decide when. The
breeze that you felt was the Holy Spirit. He directs us; we
do not direct Him. He has healed the wounded and begun to bring about
the unity that is required for the battles ahead. True
worship also pours the precious oil upon the Head, Jesus, which then
flows down over the entire body, making us one with
Him and each other. No one who becomes one with Him will remain wounded
or unclean. His blood is pure life, and it flows
when we are joined to Him. When we are joined to Him we are also joined
to the rest of the body, so that His blood flows
through all. Is that not how you heal a wound to your body, by closing
the wound so that the blood can flow to the wounded
member to bring regeneration? When a part of His body is wounded, we
must join in unity with that part until it is fully restored. We are all
one in Him."
The euphoria from the worship was still prevailing so that this little
teaching seemed to be the most profound that I had ever
heard, even though I had know it and taught it myself before. When
the Holy Spirit moved every word seemed glorious,
regardless of how elementary it was. It also filled me with so much
love that I wanted to hug everyone, including the fierce old
eagles. Then, like a jolt, I remembered the mighty warriors who had
just been captured. The eagle sensed this but did not say
anything. He just watched me intently. Finally, I spoke up; "Can we
recover those who were just lost?"
The Wounded Heart of the King
"Yes, it is right for you to feel what you do," the eagle finally said.
"We are not complete, and our worship is not complete, until
the whole body is restored. Even in the most glorious worship, even
in the very presence of the King, we will all feel this
emptiness until all are one, because our King also feels it. We all
grieve for our brothers in bondage, but we grieve even more
for the heart of our King. Just as you love all of your children, but
would be grieved for the one that was sick or wounded, He
too loves all of His children, but the wounded and oppressed have most
of His attention now. For His sake we must not quit
until all have been recovered. As long as any are wounded, He is wounded."
Faith That Moves Mountains
Sitting down by the eagle, I thought deeply about what he said. Finally
I asked, "I know that Wisdom now speaks to me
through you, because I hear His voice when you speak. I was so sure
of myself before that last battle, but I was almost carried
away with the same presumption that they were carried away with, and
could very easily have been captured with them if
Wisdom had not stopped me. I was going out of hatred for the enemy
more than wanting to set my brothers free, though that
was part of my motive. Since first coming to this mountain, and fighting
in the great battle, I now think that most of the right
things I did, I did for the wrong reasons, and many of the wrong things
I did, I had good motives for. The more I learn, the
more unsure of myself I feel."
"You must have been with Wisdom a long time," the eagle responded.
"He was with me a long time before I began to recognize Him, but I am
afraid that most of that time I was resisting Him.
Somehow I now know that I am still lacking something very important,
something that I must have before I go into battle again,
but I do not know what it is."
The great eagle's eyes became more penetrating than I had ever seen
them as he responded, "You also know the voice of
Wisdom when He speaks to you in your own heart. You are learning well
because you have the mantle. What you are feeling
now is the true faith."
"Faith!" I shot back. "I'm talking about serious doubts."
"You are wise to doubt yourself. But true faith depends on God, not
yourself, and not your faith. You are close to the kind of
faith that can move this mountain, and move it must. It is time to
carry it to places that it has not gone to before. However, you
are right. You are still lacking something very important. You must
yet have a great revelation of the King. Even though you
have climbed to the top of the mountain, and received from every truth
along the way, and even though you have stood in the
Garden of God, tasted of His unconditional love, and have seen His
Son many times now, you still only understand a part of the whole counsel
of God, and that only superficially."
I knew that this was so true that it was very comforting to hear it.
"I have judged so many people and so many situations
wrongly. Wisdom has saved my life many times now, but the voice of
Wisdom is still a very small voice within me, and the
clamor of my own thoughts and feelings are still far too loud. I hear
wisdom speaking through you much louder than I hear Him
in my own heart, so I know I must stay very close to you."
"We are here because you need us," the eagle replied. "We are also here
because we need you. You have been given gifts that
I do not have, and I have been given gifts that you do not have. You
have experienced things that I have not experienced, and I have experienced
things that you have not known. The eagles have been given to you until
the end, and you have been given to
us. I will be very close to you for a time, and then you must receive
other eagles in my place. Every eagle is different. It is
together that we have been given to know the secrets of the Lord, not
individually."
The Doors of Truth
The eagle then lifted up from the rock on which he had been perched,
and soared over the edge of the level on which we
stood. "Come," he said. As I approached him I saw steps that led down
to the very base of the mountain. There was a small
door.
"Why have I not seen this before?" I asked.
"When you first came to the mountain you did not stay on this level long enough to look around," he answered.
"How did you know that? Were you here when I first came to the mountain?"
"I would have known if I had not been here, because all who miss this
door do so for the same reason, but in fact I was here,"
he responded. "I was one of the soldiers you so quickly passed on your
way up the mountain."
It was then that I recognized the eagle as a man whom I had met soon
after my conversion, whom I had actually had a few
conversations with. He continued, "I wanted badly to follow you then.
I had been on this level for so long that I needed a
change. I just could not leave all of the lost souls that I was still
trying to lead here. When I finally committed myself to doing the Lord's
will, whether it was to stay or go, Wisdom appeared to me and showed me
this door. He said it was a shortcut to the
top. That is how I got to the top before you did, and was changed into
an eagle."
I then remembered that I had seen doors like this on a couple of the
levels, I had even peeked into a couple of them and
remember how amazed I had been at what I saw. I did not venture into
any of them very far, because I was so focused on the
battle and trying to get to the top of the mountain. "Could I have
entered any of those doors and gone right to the top?" I asked.
"It is not quite that easy," the eagle remarked, seeming a little irritated.
"In every door there are passage ways, one of which
leads to the top." Obviously know my next question, he continued. "The
other ones lead to the other levels on the mountain.
The Father designed each so that everyone would choose the one that
their level of maturity dictated that they needed."
"Incredible! How did He do that?" I thought to myself, but the eagle heard my thoughts.
"It was very simple," continued the eagle as if I had spoken my thoughts
out loud. "Spiritual maturity is always determined by
the willingness of one to sacrifice their own desires for the interests
of the kingdom or for the sake of others."
I was carefully noting all that was said. I somehow knew that I must
enter the door before me, and that it would be wise for me
to learn all that I could from someone who had been there before and
had obviously chosen the right door to the top.
"I did not go directly to the top, and neither have I met anyone who
has," the eagle continued. "But I went there much faster
than most because I had learned so much about self-sacrifice while
fighting here on the level of 'Salvation.' I have shown you
this door because you wear the mantle and would have found it anyway,
but the time is short and I am here to help you mature
quickly. There are doors on every level, and every one leads to treasures
that are beyond your comprehension. They cannot be acquired physically,
but every treasure that you hold in your hands you will be able to carry
on in your heart. Your heart is
meant to be the treasure house of God. But the time you reach the top
again, your heart will contain treasures more valuable
than all of the treasures of the whole earth. They will never be taken
from you, but they are yours for eternity, because you are
God's. Go quickly. The storm clouds are now gathering, and the great
battle is near."
"Will you go with me?" I pleaded.
"No," he responded. "This is where I now belong. I have much to do to
help these who were wounded. But I will see you here
again. You will meet many of my brother and sister eagles before you
return, and they will be able to help you better than I at
the place where you meet them."
The Treasures of Heaven
I already loved that eagle so much that I could hardly stand to leave
him. I was glad to know I would see him again. Now the
door was drawing me like a magnet. I opened it and entered. The glory
that I beheld was so stunning that I immediately fell to
my knees. The gold, silver and precious stones were far more beautiful
than anything I had ever seen on the earth. The room
was so large that it seemed to be without end. The floor was silver,
the pillars gold, and the ceiling was pure diamond that
emitted every color I had ever known and many that I had not known.
Angels without number were everywhere, dressed
indifferent robes and uniforms that were of no earthly origin.
As I began to walk through the room, the angels all bowed in salute.
One stepped forward and welcomed me by name. He
explained that I could go anywhere and see anything that I wanted in
the room. Nothing was withheld from those who came
through the door.
I could not even speak I was so overwhelmed by the beauty. I finally
remarked that this was even more beautiful than the
Garden had been. Surprised, the angel responded, "This is the Garden!
This is one of the rooms in your Father's house. We are your servants."
As I walked, a great company of angels followed me. I turned and asked
the leader why they were following. "Because of the
mantle," he said. "We have been given to you, to serve you here and
in the battle to come."
I did not know what to do with the angels so I just continued walking.
I was attracted to a large blue stone that appeared to
have the sun and clouds within it. When I touched it the same feeling
flooded over me as when I ate the fruit of the Tree of Life. I felt energy,
great mental clarity, and love for everyone and everything being magnified.
I started to behold the glory of the
Lord. The longer I touched the stone the more the glory increased.
I never wanted to take my hand off of the stone, but the
glory became so intense that I had to look away.
Then my eyes fell on a beautiful green stone. "What does that one have in it?" I asked the angel standing nearby.
"All of these stones are the treasures of salvation. You are now touching
the heavenly realm, and that one is the restoration of
life," he continued.
As I touched the green stone I began to see the earth in rich and spectacular
colors. They grew in richness the longer I had my
hand on the stone, and my love for all that I saw grew. Then I began
to see a harmony between all living things on a level that I
had never seen before. Then I began to see the glory of the lord in
the creation. It began to grow until again I had to turn away
because of the intensity.
Then I realized that I had no idea how long I had been there. I did
know that my comprehension of God and His universe had
grown substantially by just touching these two stones, and there were
many, many more. There was more in that one room than a person could have
absorbed in a whole lifetime. "How many more rooms are there?" I asked
the angel.
"There are rooms like this on every level of the mountain that you climbed."
"How can one ever experience all that is in just one of these rooms, much less all of them?" I asked.
"You have forever to do this. The treasures contained in the most basic
truths of the Lord Jesus are enough to last for many of
your present lifetimes. No man can know all that there is to know about
any of them in just one life, but you must take what you need and keep
proceeding toward your destiny."
I started thinking about the impending battle again, and the warriors
who had been captured. It was not a pleasant thought is
such a glorious place, but I knew I would have forever to come back
to this room, and only had a short time to find my way
back to the top of the mountain, and then back to the battle from again.
I turned to the angel. "You must help me find the door that leads to the top."
The angel looked perplexed, "we are your servants," he responded, "but
you must lead us. This whole mountain is a mystery to
us. We all desired to look into this great mystery, but after we leave
this room that we have come to know just a little about, we will be learning
even more than you."
"Do you know where all of the doors are?" I asked.
"Yes, But we do not know where they lead. There are some that look very
inviting, and some that are plain, and some that are
actually repulsive. One is even terrible."
"In this place there are doors that are repulsive?" I asked in disbelief. "And one that is terrible ? How can that be?"
"We do not know, but I can show it to you," he responded.
"Please do," I said.
We walked for quite a time, passing treasures unspeakable, all of which
I had great difficulty not stopping to touch. There were
also many doors, with different biblical truths over each one. When
the angel had call them "inviting" I felt that he had quite
understated their appeal. I badly wanted to go through each one, but
my curiosity about the "terrible door" kept me moving.
Then I saw it. "Terrible" had also been an understatement. Fear gripped
me so that it took my breath away.
Grace and Truth
I turned away from the door and retreated fast. There was a beautiful
red stone nearby, which I almost lunged at to lay my
hands on it. Immediately I was in the Garden of Gethsemane beholding
the Lord in prayer. The agony I beheld was even more
terrible than the door I had just seen. Shocked, I jerked my hand away
from the stone and fell to the floor in exhaustion. I badly wanted to return
to the blue or green stones, but I had to regather my energy and sense
of direction. The angels were quickly all around me serving me. I was given
a drink that began to revive me. Soon I was feeling well enough to stand
and begin walking
back to the other stones. However, the recurring vision of the Lord
praying compelled me to stop.
"What was that back there?" I asked.
"When you touch the stones we are able to see a little of what you see,
and feel a little of what you feel," said the angel. "We
know that all of these stones are great treasures, and all of the revelations
they contain are priceless. We beheld for a moment
the agony of the Lord before His crucifixion, and we felt briefly what
He felt that terrible night. It is hard for us to understand
how are God could ever suffer like that. It makes us appreciate much
more what an honor it is to serve you whom He did it
for."
The angels' words were like lightning bolts straight to my soul. I had
fought in the great battle. I had climbed to the top of the
mountain. I had become so familiar with the spiritual realm that I
hardly noticed angels any more, and I could speak on nearly
equal terms with the great eagles, yet I could not bear to share in
even a moment of the sufferings of My King without wanting
to flee to a more pleasurable experience. "I should not be here," I
almost shouted. "I, more than anyone, deserve to be a
prisoner of the evil one!"
"Sir," the angel said almost shyly. "We understand that no one is here
because they deserve it. You are here because you were
chosen before the foundation of the world for a purpose. We do not
know what your purpose is, but we know that it is very
great for everyone on this mountain."
"Thank you. You are most helpful. My emotions are being greatly stretched
by this place, and they have tended to overcome
my understanding. You are right. No one is here because they are worthy.
Truly, the higher we climb on this mountain, the
more unworthy we are to be there, and the more grace we need to stay
there. How did I ever make it to the top the first time?"
"Grace," my angel responded.
"If you want to help me," I then said, "please keep repeating that word
to me when ever you see me in confusion or despair.
That word I am coming to understand better than any other, and it always
brings great illumination to my soul."
"Now I must go back to the red stone. I know now that is the greatest
treasure in this room, and I must not leave until I am
carrying that treasure in my heart," I said with more resolution in
my words than I felt in my heart at that time, but I nevertheless
knew that it was true."
The Truth of Grace
The time that I spent at the red stone was the most painful that I have
ever experienced. Many times I simply could not take any more but had to
withdraw my hand. Several times I went back to the blue or green stones
to rejuvenate my soul before I
returned. I was extremely hard to return to the red stone each time,
but my love and appreciation for the Lord was growing
through this more than anything I had ever learned or experienced.
Finally, when the presence of the Father departed from Jesus on the
cross, I could not stand it anymore. I quit. I could tell that
the angels, who were also experiencing what I was, were in full agreement.
The willpower to touch the stone again simply was
not in my anymore. I did not even feel like going back to the blue
stone. I just laid on the floor weeping over what the Lord had gone through.
I also wept because I knew that I had deserted Him just like His disciples.
I failed Him when He needed me the
most, just like they did.
After what seemed like several days, I opened my eyes. Another eagle
was standing beside me. In front of him were three
stones, one blue, one green, and one red. "Eat them," he said. When
I did, my whole being was renewed, and both a great joy
and great soberness flooded my soul.
When I stood up, I caught sight of the same three stones set into the
handle of my sword, and then on each of my shoulders.
"These are now yours forever," the eagle said. "They cannot be taken
from you, and you cannot lose them."
"But I did not finish this last one," I protested.
"Christ alone will ever finish that test," he replied. "You have done well, but you must no on now."
"Where to?" I asked.
"You must decide, but with time getting shorter I will suggest that
you try to get to the top soon," the eagle replied as he
departed in an obvious hurry.
Then I remembered the doors. I immediately started toward the doors
that had been so appealing. When I reached the first one it simply did
not appeal to me anymore. Then I went to another, and it felt the same.
"Something seems to have changed," I
remarked out loud.
"You have changed," the entire troop of angels replied at once. I turned
to look at them and was amazed at how much they had changed. They no longer
had the naive look they had before, but were now more regal and wise-looking
than any of the angels
I had seen. I knew they reflected what had also taken place in me,
but I now felt uncomfortable just thinking about myself.
"I ask for your counsel," I said to the leader.
"Listen to your heart," he said. "That is where these great truths now abide."
"I have never been able to trust my own heart," I responded. "It is
subject to so many delusions, deceptions, and selfish
ambitions, that it is hard to even hear the Lord speaking tome above
the clamor of it."
"Sir, with the red stone now in your heart, I do not believe that will
continue to be the case," the leader offered with
uncharacteristic confidence. I leaned against the wall, thinking that
the eagle was not here when I needed him the most. He had
been this way before and would know which door to choose. As I pondered,
the "terrible door" was the only one that I could
think of. Out of curiosity I decided to go back and look at it. I had
departed from it so fast the first time that I had not even
noticed which truth it represented.
As I approached it I could feel the fear welling up inside of me, but
not nearly as bad as the first time. In great contrast to the
others, it was very dark around this door, and I had to get very close
to read the truth over it. Mildly surprised, I read THE
JUDGMENT SEAT OF CHRIST. "Why is this truth so fearful?" I asked aloud,
knowing that the angels would not answer me. As I looked at it I knew that
it was the one I should go through.
"There are many reasons that it is fearful," the familiar voice of the eagle responded.
"I'm glad you came back," I replied. "Have I made a bad choice?"
"No! You have chosen well. This door will take you back to the top of
the mountain faster than any other. It is fearful because
the greatest fear in the creation has its source through that door-the
holy fear of God. The greatest wisdom that men can know
in this life, or in the life to come, are found through those doors,
but very few will go through them."
But why is this door so dark?" I asked.
"The light of these doors reflect the attention that the church is presently
giving to the truths behind them. The truth behind that
door is one of the most neglected of these times, but it is one of
the most important. You will understand when you enter. The
greatest authority that men can receive will only be entrusted to those
who will go through this door. When you see Christ Jesus sitting on this
throne, you too will be prepared to sit with Him on it."
"Then this door would not be so dark and forbidding if we had just given more attention to this truth?"
"That is correct. If men knew the glory that is revealed behind that
door, it would be one of the most brilliant," the eagle
lamented. "However, it is still a difficult door to pass through. I
was told to return and encourage you because you will soon
need it. You will see a greater glory, but also a greater terror than
you have ever known. But know that because you have
chosen the difficult way now, it will be much easier for you later.
Because you are willing to face this hard truth now, you will
not suffer loss later. Many love to know His kindness, but very few
are willing to know His severity. If you do not know both
you will always be in danger of deception and a fall from His great
grace."
"I know that I could never come here if I had not spent the time that
I did at the red stone. How could I deep trying to take the
easy way when that is so contrary to the nature of the Lord?"
"But now you have chosen, so go quickly. Another great battle is about to begin, and you are needed at the front."
The Judgment Seat of Christ
I gazed one final time around the huge room inside of the mountain.
The treasures of the truth of Salvation were kept here. It
seemed that there was no end to their expanse or beauty. I could not
imagine that the rooms which contained the other great
truths of the faith could be any more glorious. This helped me to understand
why so many Christian never wanted to leave this
place. The large gems which represented the different aspects of Salvation
all exuded a glory far beyond any earthly beauty. It
was wonderful beyond description, and I knew that I could stay here
for eternity and never get bored.
The eagle who was standing next to me almost shouted: "You must go on!"
Then more calmly he continued, "There is no
greater peace and safety than to abide in the Lord's salvation. You
were brought here to know this because you will need it
where you are now going. But you must not stay here any longer."
The eagle's statement about the peace and safety touched something in
me. I thought about the courageous warriors who had
fought in the battle from the first level of the mountain, "Salvation."
The had fought so well and delivered so many, but they had
also all been badly wounded. Then the eagle again interrupted my thoughts
as if he were listening to them.
"God has a different definition of peace and safety than we do. To be
wounded in the fight is a great honor. That is why the
apostle Paul boasted of his beatings and stonings. There is no courage
unless there is real danger. The Lord said He would go
with Joshua to fight for the Promised Land, but over and over exhorted
him to be strong and courageous because he was going to have to fight,
and there would be dangers. It is in this way the Lord proves those who
are worthy of the Promises-they love
God and His provision more than their own security. Courage is a demonstration
of true faith. The Lord never promised that
His way would be easy, but it would be worth it. The courage of those
who fought from the level of Salvation moved the angels of heaven to esteem
what God has wrought in the fallen race of men. They took their wounds
in the terrible onslaught, but they
did not quit, and they did not retreat. Even so, by climbing the mountain
you were able to fight with an authority that ultimately
freed even more souls. Many more souls will fill these rooms, to the
great joy of heaven, if you go on."
I then turned and looked at the dark and forbidding door over which
was written: The Judgment Seat of Christ. Just as warmth
and peace had flooded my soul each time I looked at this door. Everything
in me wanted to stay in this room, and nothing in me wanted to go through
that door. Again the eagle answered my thoughts.
"Before you enter the door to any great truth you will have these same
feelings. You even felt that way when you entered into
this room to the treasures of salvation. These fears are the result
of the fall. They are the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of
Good and Evil. The knowledge from that tree made us all insecure and
self-centered. The knowledge of good and evil makes
the true knowledge of God seem fearful, when in fact every truth from
above leads to an even greater peace and security. Even
the judgments of God are to be desired, because all of His ways are
perfect."
By now I had experienced enough to know that what seems right is often
the least fruitful path, and sometimes the road to
tragedy. Throughout my journey, the path on which it seemed that the
most was risked was the path that lead to the greatest
reward. Even so, each time it seemed that more was being risked. To
make the choice to go on therefore got harder each time.
"It takes more faith to walk in the higher realms of the Spirit," the
eagle stated, seeming a little more irritated. "The Lord gave us a map
to His kingdom when He said, 'If you seek to save your life you will lose
it, but if you will lose your life for My sake you
will find it.' Those words alone can keep you on the path to the top
of the mountain, and will lead you to victory in the great
battle ahead. They will also help you to stand before the Judgment
Seat of Christ," he added, looking toward the door.
I knew I had to go. I knew that I should remember this glorious room
and the treasures of salvation, but I also knew that I
should not look back to them again. I had to go on. I turned and with
all of the courage I could muster, opened the door to the
Judgment Seat of Christ and stepped through it. The troop of angels
that had been assigned to me took positions all around the
door, but did not enter.
"What's the matter? Aren't you coming?" I demanded, badly wanting the security of their company.
"Where you are going now you must go alone. We will be waiting for you one the other side."
Without responding, I turned and started walking before I could change
my mind. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I
was in the most frightening darkness I had ever experienced. The most
terrible fears rose up within me. Soon I began to think
that I had stepped into hell itself. I thought about retreating, but
when I looked back I could see nothing. The door was closed
and I could not even see where it was located. Resolving that I now
had to go on, I moved slowly, praying for the Lord to help
me. As I did, peace began to grow in my heart.
I then noticed that the dark was no longer cold, but began to feel comfortable.
Then I started to behold a dim light. Gradually it
became a glorious light so wonderful that I felt that I was entering
into heaven itself. Now the glory increased with every step. I
wondered how anything this wonderful could have an entrance so dark
and forbidding. I wanted to savor every step before
taking another.
Soon the path opened into a hall so large that I felt that the earth
itself could not contain it. The beauty of it could not even be
imagined by human architects. I had never experienced anything like
what filled my soul as I beheld this room. At the far end
was the Source of the glory that emanated from everything else in the
room. I knew that it was the Lord, and I was a little bit
afraid as I began to walk toward Him. I did not even think about how
great the distance was. It was all so wonderful that I felt
that I could walk forever and enjoy every step. In earthly terms, that
somehow did not relate here, it would have taken me
many days to reach the throne.
My eyes were so fixed on the glory of the Lord that I had walked a long
time before I noticed that I was passing multitudes of
people who were standing in ranks to my left (There were just as many
to my right but they were so far away that I did not
notice them until I reached the throne). As I looked at them I had
to stop. They were dazzling, more regal than anyone I had
ever seen. Their countenance was captivating. Never had such peace
and confidence graced a human face. Each one was
beautiful beyond any earthly comparison. As I turned toward those who
were close to me they bowed in a greeting as if they
knew me.
"How is it that you know me?" I asked, surprised at my own boldness to ask such a question of them.
"You are one of the saints who is fighting in the last battle," a man
close by responded. "Everyone here knows you, and all of
those who are now fighting on the earth. We are the saints who have
served the Lord in the generations before you. We are the great cloud of
witnesses who have been given the right to behold the last battle. We know
all of you, and we see all that you
do."
I then noticed someone I had known on earth. He had been a faithful
believer, but I did not think he had done anything of
significance. He was so physically unattractive on earth that it had
made him shy. Here he had the same features, but was
somehow more handsome than any person I had known on earth. He stepped
up to me with an assurance and dignity that I
had never seen in him, or anyone, before.
"Heaven is much greater than we could have dreamed while on earth,"
he began. "This room is but the threshold of realms of
glory that are far beyond the ability we had to comprehend. It is also
true that the second death is much more terrible than we
understood. Neither heaven or hell are like we thought they were. If
I had known on earth what I know here I would not have
lived the way that I did. You are blessed with a great grace to have
come here before you have died." he said while looking at
my garments.
I then looked at myself. I still had the old mantle of humility on,
with the armor under it. I felt both foul and crude standing
before those who were so regal and beautiful. I began to think that
I was in serious trouble if I was going to appear before the
Lord like this. Like the eagles, my old acquaintance could understand
my thoughts, and he replied to them:
"Those who come here wearing that mantle have nothing to fear. That
mantle is the highest rank of honor, and it is why they all
bowed to you while you passed."
"I did not notice anyone bowing to me," I replied, a bit disconcerted.
"It is not improper," he continued. "Here we show each other the respect
that is due. Even the angles serve us here, but only
our God and His Christ are worshiped."
I was still ashamed. I had to retrain myself to keep from bowing to
these glorious ones, while at the same time wanting to hide
myself because I looked so bad. Then I began lamenting the fact that
my thoughts here were just as foolish here as they were
one earth, and here everyone knew them! I felt both stained and stupid
standing before these who were so awesome and pure.
Again my old acquaintance responded to these thoughts.
"We have our incorruptible bodies now, and you do not. Our minds are
no longer hindered by sin. We are therefore able to
comprehend many times what even the greatest earthly mind can fathom,
and we will spend eternity growing in our ability to
understand. This is so that we can know the Father, and understand
the glory of His creation. On earth you cannot even begin
to understand what the least of these here know, and we are the least
of those here."
"How could you be the least?" I asked with disbelief.
"There is an aristocracy here. The rewards for our earthly lives are
the eternal positions that we have here. This great multitude
here are those whom the Lord called 'foolish virgins.' We knew the
Lord, and trusted in His cross for deliverance from
damnation, but we did not really live for Him, but for ourselves. We
did not keep our vessels filled with the oil of the Holy
Spirit. We have eternal life, but we wasted our lives on earth."
I was really surprised by this, but I also knew that no one could lie in that place.
"The foolish virgins gnashed their teeth in the outer darkness," I protested.
"And that we did. The grief that we experienced when we understood how
we had so wasted our lives was beyond any grief
possible on earth. The darkness of that grief can only be understood
by those who have experienced it. Such darkness is
magnified when it is revealed next to the glory of the One we failed.
You are standing now among the lowest rank in heaven.
There is no greater fools than the ones who know the great salvation
of God, but then go on living for themselves. To come
here and learn the reality of that folly is a grief beyond what an
earthly soul can experience. We are those who suffered this
outer darkness because of this greatest of follies."
I was still incredulous. "But you are more glorious and full of more
joy and peace than I even imagined, even for those in
heaven. I do not feel any remorse in you, and yet I know that here
you cannot lie. This does not make sense to me."
Looking me straight in the eyes, he continued, "The Lord also loves
us with a love greater than you can yet understand. Before
His judgment seat I tasted the greatest darkness of soul and remorse
that can be experienced. Though here we do not measure
time as you do, it seemed to last for as long as my life on earth had
lasted. All of my sins and follies which I had not repented of passed before
me, and before all who are here. The grief of this you cannot understand
until you have experienced it. I felt that
I was in the deepest dungeon of hell, even as I stood before the Lord.
He was resolute until my life had been completely
reviewed. When I said I was sorry and asked for the mercy of His cross,
He wiped away my tears and took away the great
darkness. He looked at me with a love that was beyond anything that
you can now understand. He gave me this robe. I no
longer feel the darkness or bitterness that I knew as I stood before
Him, but I remember it. Only here can you remember such
things without continuing to feel the pain. A moment in the lowest
part of heaven is much greater than a thousand years of the
highest life on earth. Now my mourning at my folly has been turned
into joy, and I know that I will know joy forever, even if I
am in the lowest place in heaven."
I began to think again of the treasures of salvation. Somehow I knew
that all that this man had told me was revealed by those
treasures. Every step I had taken up the mountain, or into it, had
revealed that His ways are both more fearful and more
wonderful than I had known before.
Looking at me intently, my former acquaintance continued. "You are not
here to understand, but to experience. The next level
of rank here is many times greater than what we have. Each level after
is that much greater than the previous one. It is not just
that each level has an even more glorious spiritual body, but that
each level is closer to the throne where all of the glory comes
from. Even so, I no longer feel the grief of my failure. I really deserve
nothing. I am here by grace alone, and I am so thankful
for what I have. He is so worthy to be loved. I could be doing many
wondrous things now in the different realms of heaven, but I would rather
stay here and just behold the glory, even if I am on the outer fringes."
Then, with a distant look in his eyes, he added, "Everyone in heaven
is now in this room to watch His great mystery unfold, and
to watch those of you who will fight the last battle."
"Can you see Him from here?" I asked. "I see His glory far away, but I cannot see Him."
"I can see many times better than you can," he answered. "And yes, I
can see Him, and all that He is doing, even from here. I
can also hear Him. I can also behold the earth. He gave us all that
power. We are the great cloud of witnesses who are
beholding you."
He departed back into the ranks and I began walking again, trying to
understand all that he had said to me. As I looked over
the great host that he had said were the foolish virgins, the ones
who had spiritually slept away their life on earth, I knew that if
any one of them appeared on earth now that they would be worshiped
as gods, and yet they were the very least of those who
were here!
I then began to think of all of the time that I had wasted in my life.
It was such an overwhelming thought that I stopped. Then
parts of my life began to pass before me. I began to experience a terrible
grief over this one sin. I too had been one of the
greatest of fools! I may have kept more oil in my lamp than others,
but now I knew how foolish I had been to measure what
was required of me by how others were doing. I, too, was one of the
foolish virgins!
Just when I thought I would collapse under the weight of this terrible
discovery, a man who I had known and esteemed as one
of the great men of God I had known, came forward to steady me. Somehow
his touch revived me. He then greeted me
warmly. He was a man that I had wanted to be discipled by. I had met
him, but we did not get along well. Like a number of
others I had tried to get close enough to learn from, I was an irritation
to him and he finally asked me to leave. For years I had
felt guilty about this, feeling that I had missed a great opportunity
because of some flaw in my character. Even though I had put
it out of my mind, I still carried the weight of this failure. When
I saw him it all surfaced, and a sick feeling came over me. Now
he was so regal that I felt even more repulsive and embarrassed by
my poor state. I wanted to hide but there was not way I
could avoid him here. To my surprise, his warmth toward me was so genuine
that he quickly put me at ease. There did not
seem to be any barriers between us. In fact, the love I felt coming
from him almost completely took away my
self-consciousness.
"I have waited eagerly for this meeting," he said.
"You were waiting for me?" I asked. "Why?"
"You are just one of many that I am waiting for. I did not understand
until my judgment that you were one that I was called to
help, to even disciple, but I rejected you."
"Sir," I protested. "It would have been a great honor to be discipled
by you, and I am very thankful for the time that I did have
with you, but I was so arrogant I deserved your rejection. I know that
my rebellion and pride has kept me from ever having a
real spiritual father. This was not your fault, but mine."
"It is true that you were prideful, but that is not why I was offended
with you. I was offended because of my insecurity, which
made me want to control everyone around me. I was offended that you
would not accept everything that I said without
questioning it. I then started to look for anything that was wrong
with you to justify my rejection. I began to feel that if I could
not control you that you would one day embarrass me and my ministry.
I esteemed my ministry more than I did the people for
whom it was given to me, so I drove many like you away," he said.
With a genuineness that is unknown in the realms of earth, he continued,
"All children are rebellious, and think that the world
revolves around them. That is why they need parents to raise them.
Almost every child will at times bring reproach on his
family, but he is still a part of the family. I turned away many of
God's own children that he had entrusted to me for getting them
safely to maturity. I failed with most of them. Most of them suffered
terrible wounds and failures that I could have helped them
to avoid. Many of them are now prisoners of the enemy. I built a large
organization, and had considerable influence in the
church, but the greatest gifts that the Lord trusted to me were the
ones who were sent to me for discipline, many of whom I
rejected. Had I not been so self-centered and concerned with my own
reputation I would be a king here. I was called to one of the highest thrones.
All that you have and will accomplish would have been in my heavenly account
as well. Instead, much of
what I gave my attention to was of very little true eternal significance.
What looks good on earth looks very different here.
What will make you a king on earth will often be a stumbling block
to keep you from being a king here. What will make you a
king here is lowly and unesteemed on earth. Will you forgive me?"
"Of course," I said, quite embarrassed. "But I, too, am in need of your
forgiveness. I still think that it was my awkwardness and
rebellion that made if difficult for you."
"It is true that you were not perfect, and I discerned some of your
problems rightly, but that is never cause for rejection," he
replied. "The Lord did not reject the world when I saw its failures.
He did not reject me when He saw my sin. He laid down
His life for us. It is always the greater who must lay down his life
for the lessor. I was more mature. I had more authority than
you, but I became like one of the goats in the parable; I rejected
the Lord by rejecting you and the others that He sent to me."
As he talked, his words were striking me deeply. I, too, was guilty
of everything that he was relenting of. Many young men and
women who I had brushed off as not being important enough for my time
were now passing through my mind. How desperately I wanted to return now
and gather them together! This grief that I began to feel was even worse
than I had felt about wasting
time. I had wasted people! Now many of these were prisoners of the
enemy, wounded and captured during the battle on the
mountain. This whole battle was for people, and yet people were often
regarded as the least important. We will fight for truths
more than for the people for whom they are given. We will fight for
ministries while running roughshod over the people in them.
"And many people think of me as a spiritual leader! I am truly the
least of the saints," I thought to myself.
"I understand how you feel," remarked another man I recognized as one
I considered one of the greatest Christian leaders of all time. "Paul the
apostle said near the end of his life that he was the least of the saints.
Then just before his death he even called
himself 'the greatest of sinners.' Had he not learned that in his life
on earth he, too, would have been in jeopardy of being one of
the least of the saints in heaven. Because he learned it on earth he
is now one of those closest to the Lord, and will be one of
the highest in rank for all of eternity."
Seeing this man in the company of "The foolish virgins" was the greatest
surprise I had yet. "I cannot believe that you, too, are
one of the foolish who slept away their lives on earth. Why are you
here?"
"I am here because I made one of the most grave mistakes you can make
as one entrusted with the glorious gospel of our
Savior. Just as the apostle Paul progressed from not considering himself
inferior to the greatest apostles, to being the greatest of sinners, I
took the opposite course. I started out knowing that I had been one the
greatest of sinners who had found grace, but
ended up thinking that I was one of the greatest apostles. It was because
of my great pride, not insecurity like our friend here,
that I began to attack everyone who did not see everything just the
way I did. Those who followed me I stripped of their own
callings, and even their personalities, pressuring them to all become
just like me. No one around me could be themselves. No
one dared to question me because I would crush them into powder; I
thought that by making others smaller I made myself
larger. I thought that I was supposed to be the Holy Spirit to everyone.
From the outside my ministry looked like a smooth
running machine where everyone was in unity and there was perfect order,
but it was the order of a concentration camp. I took
the Lord's own children and made them automatons in my own image instead
of His. In the end I was not even serving the
Lord, but the idol I had built to myself. By the end of my life I was
actually an enemy of the true gospel, at least in practice,
even if my teachings and writings seemed impeccably biblical."
"If that is true, that you became an enemy of the gospel, how is it that you are still here?" I questioned.
"By the grace of God, I did trust in the cross for my own salvation,
even though I actually kept other men from it, leading them
to myself rather than to Him. The Lord remains faithful to us even
when we are unfaithful. It was also by his grace that the Lord
took me from the earth sooner than He would have just so those who
were under me could find Him and come to know Him."
I could not have been more stunned to think that this was true of this
particular man. History had given us a very different
picture of him. Reading what was going on in my heart, he continued:
"God does have a different set of history books than those on the earth.
You have had a glimpse of this, but you do not yet
know how different they are. Earthly histories will pass away, but
the books that are kept here will last forever. If you can
rejoice in what heaven is recording about your life, you are blessed
indeed. Men see through a glass darkly, so their histories
will always be clouded, and sometimes completely wrong. Very few, even
very few Christians, have the true gift of
discernment. Without this gift it is impossible to accurately discern
truth in those of the present or the past. Even with this gift it
is difficult. Until you have been here, and been stripped, you will
judge others through distorted prejudices, either positive or
negative. That is why we were warned not to judge before the time.
Until we have been here we just cannot really know what
is in the heart of others, whether they are performing good or evil
deeds. There have been good motives in even the worst of
men, and evil motives in even the best of them. Only here can men be
judged by both their deeds and their motives."
"When I return to earth, will I be able to discern history accurately because I have been here?"
"You are here because you prayed for the Lord to judge you severely,
to correct you ruthlessly, so that you could serve Him
more perfectly. This was one of the most wise requests you ever made.
The wise judge themselves lest they be judged. The
even wiser ask for the judgments of the Lord, because they realize
that they cannot even judge themselves very well. Having
come here you will leave with far more wisdom and discernment, but
on earth you will always see through a glass darkly to at
least some degree. Your experience here will help you to know men better,
but only when you are fully here can you know
them fully. When you leave here you will be more impressed by how little
you know men rather than by how well you know
them. This is just as true in relation to the histories of men. I have
been allowed to talk with you because I have in a sense
discipled you through my writings, and to know the truth about me will
help you greatly," the great Reformer concluded.
Then a woman stepped forward who I did not know. Her beauty and grace
was breathtaking, but it was not sensual, or
seductive in any way. She was the definition of dignity and nobility.
"I was his wife on earth," she began. "Much of what you know of him
actually came from me, therefore what I am about to say
is not just about him, but about us. You can reform the church without
reforming your own soul. You can dictate the course of
history, and yet not do the Father's will, or glorify His Son. If you
commit yourself to making human history, you may do it, but
it is a fleeting accomplishment that will evaporate like a wisp of
smoke."
"But your husband's work, or your work, greatly impacted every generation
after him for good. It is hard to imagine how dark
the world would have been without him," I protested.
"True. But you can gain the whole world and still loose your own soul.
Only if you keep your own soul pure can you impact the world for the truly
lasting eternal purpose of God. My husband lost his soul to me, and he
only gained it at the end of his life
because I was taken from the earth so that he could. Much of what he
did he did more for me than for the Lord. I pressured
him, and even gave him much of the knowledge that he taught. I used
him as an extension of my own ego, because as a woman
at the time I could not be recognized as a spiritual leader myself.
I took over his life so that I could live my life through Him.
Soon I had him doing everything just to prove himself to me."
"You must have loved her very much." I said looking at him.
"No. I did not love her at all. Neither did she love me. In fact, after
just a few years of marriage we did not even like each
other. But we both needed each other, so we found a way to work together.
The more successful we became in this way, the
more unhappy we became, and the more deception we used to fool those
who followed us. We were empty wretches by the
end of our lives. The more influence that you gain by you own self-promotion,
the more striving you must do to keep your
influence, and the more dark and cruel your life will become. Kings
feared us, but we feared everyone from the kings to the
peasants. We could trust no one because we were living in such deception
ourselves we did not even trust each other. We
preached love and trust, because we wanted everyone to love and trust
us, but we feared and secretly despised everyone
ourselves. If you preach the greatest truths but do not live them,
you are only the greatest hypocrite."
Their words began to pound me like a hammer. I could see that already
my life was heading in the same direction. How much
was I doing to promote myself rather than Christ. I began to see how
much I did just to prove myself to others, especially those who disliked
me, or who I felt in competition with in some way. I began to see how much
of my own life was built on the
facades of a projected image that belied who I really was. But here
I could not hide. This great cloud of witnesses all knew
who I was beyond the veil of my projected motives.
I looked again at this couple. They were now so guileless and so truly
noble that it was impossible to question their motives.
They were gladly exposing their most devious sins for my sake, and
were genuinely glad to be able to do it.
"I may have had a wrong concept of you be your history and your writings,
but I have even more esteem for you now. I pray
that I can carry from this place the integrity and freedom that you
have now. I am tired of trying to live up to projected images
of myself. How I long for that freedom." I lamented, wanting desperately
to remember every detail of this encounter. Then the
famous Reformer offered a final exhortation:
"Do not try to teach others to do what you are doing yourself. Reformation
is not just a doctrine. True reformation only comes
from union with the Savior. When you are yoked with Christ, carrying
the burdens that He gives you, He will be with you and
carry them for you. You can only do His work when you are doing it
with Him, not just for Him. Only the Spirit can beget that
which is Spirit. If you are yoked with Him you will do nothing for
the sake of politics or history. Anything that you do because
of political pressures, or opportunities, will only lead you to the
end of your true ministry. The things that are done for the sake
of trying to make history will at best doom your accomplishments to
history, and you will fail to impact eternity. If you do not
live what you preach to others you disqualify yourself from the high
calling of God, just as we did. I will tell you what will keep
you on the path of life-love the Savior and seek His glory alone. Everything
that you do to exalt yourself will one day bring you
the most terrible humiliation. Everything that you do out of true love
for the Savior, to glorify His name, will extend the limits of
His eternal kingdom, and ultimately result in a much higher place for
yourself. Live for what is recorded here. Care nothing for
what is recorded on earth."
As they walked away I was again being overwhelmed by my own sin. The
times that I had used people for my own purposes,
or even used the glorious name of Jesus, to further my own ambitions,
or to make myself look better, began to cascade down
upon me. Here, where I could behold the power and glory of the One
I had so used, it became more repulsive than I thought I
could stand. I fell on my face in the worst despair I had ever known.
After what seemed like an eternity of seeing these people
and events pass before me, I felt the woman lifting me to my feet again.
I was overcome by her purity, especially as I now felt
so evil and corrupt. I had the strongest desire to worship her because
she was so pure.
"Turn to the Son," she said emphatically. "Your desire to worship me,
or anyone else at this time, is only an attempt to turn the
attention away from yourself, and justify yourself by serving what
you are not. I am pure now because I turned to Him. You
need to see the corruption that is in your own soul, but then you must
not dwell on yourself, or seek to justify yourself with dead works, but
turn to Him."
This was said in such genuine love and concern that it was impossible
to be hurt or offended but it. When she saw that I
understood, she continued:
"The purity that you saw in me was what my husband first saw in me when
we were young. I was relatively pure in my motives
then, but I corrupted his love and my own purity by letting him worship
me wrongly. You can never become pure just by
worshiping one who is more pure than you, but only by going beyond
them to find for yourself the One who has made them
pure, and in Whom alone is no sin. The more people praised us, and
the more we accepted their praises, the further we
departed from the path of life. Then we started living for the praises
of men, and to gain power over those who would not
praise us. That was our demise, and was the same for many who are here
in the lowest place, but were called to be in the
highest."
Wanting to simply prolong our conversation, I asked the next thing that
came to my mind, "Is it difficult for you and your
husband to be here together?"
"Not at all. All of the relationships that you have on earth are continued
here, and they are all purified by the judgment. The
more that you are forgiven the more that you love. Of course, the Lord
forgave us more than anyone, and here we all love Him
much more than anyone else. After we forgave each other we loved each
other more. Now our relationship is continuing in
much greater depth and richness because we are joint heirs of this
salvation. As deep as the wounds went, that is now deep the love was able
to go once we were healed. We could have experienced this on earth, but
we did not learn forgiveness in time. If we had learned forgiveness the
competition that entered our relationship, and sidetracked our life, would
not have been able to
take root in us. If you truly love, you will easily forgive. The harder
it is for you to forgive, the further you are from true love.
Forgiveness is essential if you are to stay on the path of life. Without
it many things can knock you off the course chosen for
you."
At the can time I realized that this woman, who had brought me into
this confrontation with such pain at my depravity, was also
the most attractive person I could ever remember meeting. It was not
romantic attraction, but I just did not want to leave her.
Perceiving my thoughts, she withdrew a step, indicating that she was
about to go, but offered me one last insight.
"The pure truth, spoken in pure love, will always attract. You will
remember the pain you feel here, and it will help you through
the rest of your life. Pain is good; it shows you where there is a
problem. Do not try to reduce the pain until you find and
address the problem. God's truth often brings pain as it highlights
a problem that we have, but His truth will always show us the
way to freedom, and true life. When you know this you will even begin
to rejoice in your trials, which are all allowed to help
keep you on the path of life."
"Also, your attraction to me in not out of order. It is the attraction
between male and female that was given in the beginning,
which is always pure in its true form. When pure truth is combined
with pure love, men can be the men they were created to be
without having to dominate out of insecurity. Women can be the women
they were created to be because their love has
replaced their fear. Love will never manipulate or try to control out
of insecurity, because love casts out all fear. The very place
where relationships can be the most corrupted is also where they can
be the most fulfilling. As your mind is renewed by the
Spirit of Truth, you will not see relationships as an opportunity to
get from others, but to give. Giving is the greatest fulfillment
that we can ever know. It is a taste of heaven where we give to the
Lord in pure worship, which has an ecstasy that even the
most wonderful relationships on earth are but a fleeting glimpse of.
What we experience in worship here your frail little
unglorified body could not endure. The true worship of God will purify
the soul for the glories of true relationships. Therefore,
you must not seek relationships, but pure worship. Only then can relationships
start to be what they are supposed to be. True
love never seeks the upper hand, but the lowest place of service. If
my husband and I had kept this in our marriage, we would
be sitting next to the King now, and this great hall would be filled
with many more souls."
With that she disappeared back into the ranks of the glorified saints.
I looked again towards the throne and the glory that
appeared so much more beautiful that I was taken aback. Another man
standing close to me explained:
"With each encounter, a veil is being removed so that you can see Him
more clearly. You are not changed just by seeing His
glory, but by seeing it with an unveiled face. Everyone who comes to
the true judgments of God walks a corridor such as this to meet those who
can help them remove whatever veils they are still wearing; veils that
will distort their vision of Him."
I had already absorbed more understanding than I felt like my many years
of study on earth had given me. I then began to feel
that all of my study and seeking on earth had only lead me forward
at a snail's pace. How could many lifetimes prepare me for
the judgment? My life had already disqualified me more than all of
those whom I had met, and they barely made it here!
Then another man emerged from the ranks. He had been a contemporary
of mine, and I did not know that he had died. I had
never met him on earth, but he had a great ministry which I respected
very much. Through men that he had trained, thousands
had been led to salvation, and many great churches had been raised
up. He asked if he could just embrace me for a minute, and I agreed, feeling
a bit awkward. When we embraced I felt such love coming from him that a
great pain that was deep within me stopped hurting. I had become so used
to the pain that I did not even notice it until it stopped. After he released
me I told him
that his embrace had healed me of something. His joy at this was profound.
Then he began to tell me why he was in the lowest
rank in heaven.
"I became so arrogant near the end of my life that I could not imagine
that the Lord would do anything of significance unless He
did it through me. I began to touch the Lord's anointed, and do His
prophets harm. I was selfishly proud when the Lord used
one of my own disciples, and I became jealous when the Lord moved through
anyone who was outside of my own ministry. I
would search for anything that was wrong with them which I could attack.
I did not know that every time I did this I only
demoted myself further."
"I never knew that you had done anything like that," I said, surprised.
"I incited men under me to investigate others and do my dirty work.
I had them scour the earth to find any error or sin in the life
of others to expose them. I became the worst thing that a man can become
on the earth-a stumbling block who produced other stumbling blocks. We
sowed fear and division throughout the church, all in the name of protecting
the truth. In my
self-righteousness I was headed for perdition. In His great mercy the
Lord allowed me to be struck by a disease that would
bring about a slow and humiliating death. Just before I died I came
to me senses and repented. I am just thankful to be here at
all. I may be one of the least of His here, but it is much more than
I deserve. I just could not leave this room until I had a chance to apologize
to those of you that I so wronged."
"But you never wronged me," I said.
"Oh, but I did indeed," he replied. "Many of the attacks that came against
you were from those whom I had agitated and
encouraged in their assaults on others. Even though I may not have
personally carried the attacks out, the Lord holds me as
responsible as those who did."
"I see. Certainly I forgive you."
I was already beginning to remember how I had done this same thing,
even if on a smaller scale. I recalled how I had allowed
disgruntled former members of a church to spread their poison about
that church without stopping them. I knew that by just
allowing them to do this without correcting them I had encouraged them
to continue. I remember thinking that this was justified
because of the errors of that church. I then began to remember how
I had even repeated many of their stories, justifying it by
saying it was only to enlist prayers for them. Soon a great flood of
other such incidents began to arise in my heart. Again, I was
starting to be overwhelmed by the evil and darkness of my own soul.
"O, too, have been a stumbling block!" I wailed, dropping again to my
knees. I knew that I deserved death, that I deserved the
worst kind of hell. I had never seen such ruthlessness and cruelty
as I was now seeing in my own heart.
"And we always comforted ourselves by actually thinking that we were
doing God a favor when we attacked His own
children," came the understanding voice of this man. "It is good for
you to see this here, because you can go back. Please warn
my disciples of their impending doom if they do not repent. Many of
them are called to be kings here, but if they do not repent
they will face the worst judgment of all-that of the stumbling blocks.
My humbling disease was grace from God. When I stood
before the throne I asked the Lord to send such grace to my disciples.
I cannot cross back over to them, but He has allowed
me this time with you. Please forgive and release those who have attacked
you. They really do not understand that they are
doing the work of the Accuser. Thank you for forgiving me, but please
also forgive them. It is in your power to retain sins or
cover them with love. I entreat you to love those who are now your
enemies."
I could hardly hear this man I was so overwhelmed with my own sin. This
man was so glorious, pure and obviously now had